I didgeridoo not want to go anywhere else
If I could go anywhere, I would go to Australia. I know a bunch of random facts about the country, and I'd like to go somewhere where I would be able to use them. When I was 13, I started listening to an Australian podcast that reviewed blockbuster movies. I soon discovered that this podcast was part of a larger network of podcasts based in Melbourne, and I ended up spending hours listening to all the various offerings. None of these podcasts are about Australia specifically; I’ve just ended up picking up an array of facts through random digressions that the speakers go on. Most of the things I know are really trivial, like how the St. Kilda Saints won the Australian Football League Premiership in 1966, to things with practical value, like how the ancient Aboriginals developed a form of regenerative agriculture that scientists are currently trying to rediscover.
In addition to knowing random facts, I also have a pretty extensive vocabulary of Australian sayings. Fun fact: the Australian version of the idiom "I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse" is "I'm so hungry I could eat the ass off a low-flying duck". Alternatively, there's "I'm so hungry, I'd eat a shit sandwich without the bread" or "I'm so hungry, I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies". Not only do I know sayings, I also know way more slang than anyone outside of Australia has any right to know. For example, "tracky daks" are what they call sweatpants, a "drongo" is an idiot, and the words "coldie", "frothy", "slab", "stubbie" and "tinny" are all refer to a bottle or can of beer. I have no use for any of this information in the US, so going somewhere where these words and phrases would come in handy would be dope.
The city in Australia that I'd most like to go to is Melbourne for a couple of reasons. For one, it's the city where I'm probably least likely to get hate-crimed in. Like many countries, Australia's seen a rise in anti-immigrant attitudes and white nationalism in the last few years. Most of the backlash against this sentiment has come from Melbourne. Being someone who's neither Australian nor white, I feel like being in the heart of anti-anti-immigration sentiment is probably safer than being somewhere like like Western Australia, which is sort of like the Australian version of the American South.
There are a few other reason's I want to go to Melbourne. The city apparently has some of the worlds best coffee, and as someone who enjoys drinking hot beverages, this is a very big deal for me. The climate in South East Australia is apparently very conducive for growing coffee plants with tasteful beans. Given that I already really enjoy coffee from Espresso Royale, who use some pretty cheap beans, I'm excited to see what high quality coffee tastes like. I also would imagine that drinking coffee on a fun trip abroad would probably be more relaxing than chugging it in an attempt to stay awake enough to finish a half-thought-through essay, as I often do in Champaign.
In addition to knowing random facts, I also have a pretty extensive vocabulary of Australian sayings. Fun fact: the Australian version of the idiom "I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse" is "I'm so hungry I could eat the ass off a low-flying duck". Alternatively, there's "I'm so hungry, I'd eat a shit sandwich without the bread" or "I'm so hungry, I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies". Not only do I know sayings, I also know way more slang than anyone outside of Australia has any right to know. For example, "tracky daks" are what they call sweatpants, a "drongo" is an idiot, and the words "coldie", "frothy", "slab", "stubbie" and "tinny" are all refer to a bottle or can of beer. I have no use for any of this information in the US, so going somewhere where these words and phrases would come in handy would be dope.
The city in Australia that I'd most like to go to is Melbourne for a couple of reasons. For one, it's the city where I'm probably least likely to get hate-crimed in. Like many countries, Australia's seen a rise in anti-immigrant attitudes and white nationalism in the last few years. Most of the backlash against this sentiment has come from Melbourne. Being someone who's neither Australian nor white, I feel like being in the heart of anti-anti-immigration sentiment is probably safer than being somewhere like like Western Australia, which is sort of like the Australian version of the American South.
There are a few other reason's I want to go to Melbourne. The city apparently has some of the worlds best coffee, and as someone who enjoys drinking hot beverages, this is a very big deal for me. The climate in South East Australia is apparently very conducive for growing coffee plants with tasteful beans. Given that I already really enjoy coffee from Espresso Royale, who use some pretty cheap beans, I'm excited to see what high quality coffee tastes like. I also would imagine that drinking coffee on a fun trip abroad would probably be more relaxing than chugging it in an attempt to stay awake enough to finish a half-thought-through essay, as I often do in Champaign.
Australia is super cool. I've always wondered how you know so much trivial information about a continent halfway across the world, but now I know. Very cool. I wonder if people in Australia would be impressed with the amount of information that you know about their homeland. If you ever end up going there, send me a postcard!
ReplyDelete